


The Other Side And Back

by Kaisnickel



Category: IT (2017) RPF, IT - Stephen King
Genre: Anxiety, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Dead Eddie Kaspbrak, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Horror, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Resurrection, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, bringing the dead back to life, they killed pennywise the first time an eddie died
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2020-10-26 13:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaisnickel/pseuds/Kaisnickel
Summary: The day Richie lost the love of his life, he was broken.  The day he came back to him changed his life forever.  He was the only one who could see him and Richie was determined to make him come back to life.





	1. Chapter One: The Day I Saw Him Again

It had been exactly one year since he died. One year since I’ve been inside every day. I had felt nothing but pain and sadness since the day he died. Little did I know my life was going to change that day, the day I got to see him again. Let me get started from that very day from the time I had woken up.

It was 9 am when I had first opened my eyes. I was feeling shittier than ever. A year ago today was the day I lost him. I sat up in bed and smelled that my mom had made breakfast. She has made the same breakfast every day for the past year because she knows it’s my favorite. She does it to try to cheer me up but nothing will help.

“Richie sweetheart, breakfast is ready.”

“Can you just bring it up and leave it on the table today, I’m not feeling the best to go downstairs today.”

“Okay, I’ll go do that honey,” she said as she closed the door and sighed

I went to the calendar and saw the date. I should go to visit his grave. I think Eddie would be happy to see me get out for once. He’s honestly probably so worried about me. I started to get dressed and was ready by the time my mom came to the door with my breakfast.

“Richie I hope you li-” she stopped mid-sentence and just stared at me. “Sweetheart, are you going outside?!” she was so delighted to see me in an outfit with my shoes on.

“Yeah mom, is that okay with you?”

“Of course it is, you can be out for as late as you want to be, just stay safe”

“Thanks, mom, I’ll be back by 5”

She gave me my breakfast and I ate it quickly and waved to her goodbye. I walked out of the door and was blinded by the sun. It hurt so bad because I hadn’t been outside in a while. The air was crisp and the leaves were all colors. It was late September which means the weather is just right. I love this time of year but also hate it. I walked down the road for a while and stopped in front of his house. When I saw it I started to cry but I sucked all my emotions back in and walked up to the front door and knocked.

“Hi Mrs. K” she looked at me for a minute and started to cry and invited me in. I sat on the couch and she had sat on her chair and stared at me. “I know you must hate me, Mrs. K” 

“Actually, I don’t Richie. Well, I did at first but I had time to think this past year and realized it wasn't your fault. Tell me,” she started to tear up again “Was my Eddie a savior?”

I looked down at my hands and started sobbing remembering what he did to save us all. “He sure was, he saved everybody in the town for generations to come.” My voice was really shaky while telling her everything Eddie had done for us. It was about 1 when I left and she opened the door for me and gave me a hug and told me to visit anytime I wanted to talk about Eddie.

I started to walk down the street again and was getting closer to the graveyard. I stopped at the drug store quickly and bought a bouquet of flowers and an inhaler. I had finally made it after a couple of minutes. The graveyard he was in was the largest in town and it was beautifully built. It had a man-made lake with ducks and swans that would fly in and swim in the water for a while. I had forgotten to ask Mrs. Kaspbrak where Eddie's grave was, so this is going to take me a while. I walked along every road in the cemetery looking for Kaspbrak. It wasn’t until an hour later I had found it.

Eddie Kaspbrak  
September 3rd, 1976 - September 24th, 1989  
I had gotten on my knees and put down the flowers and inhaler I had gotten. I smiled while looking at the inhaler. “I miss my wheezy boy so much” I looked his name on the tombstone and said “Hey Eds, there is something I really wanted to tell you before you… well before you left. I love you, Eddie, I love you so much. I know you’re probably thinking I mean just as a friend but I realized something one day,” I had started to cry while talking “I’m gay Eds, I realized that day we were alone together playing Street Fighter and how you were so cute when you laughed and just how handsome you were, I loved you so much Edward Kaspbrak” 

I sat there for a minute crying onto the flowers I had put down for him, but I had stopped completely when I felt an arm on my shoulder and turned around and saw a boy that looked just like Eddie but slightly older. Fear filled my body and I ran as fast as I could but he had chased after me screaming, 

“Wait, Richie, please wait!” 

After I heard my name I had stopped and turned around and stared at him.

“How did you know my name?”

“Richie it’s me, Eddie”


	2. Chapter Two: Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie takes Richie home and they reminisce about the past. All Richie hopes is that this isn't some cruel dream.

I stood there, shocked by what I was looking at. How; how is this possible. He started walking towards me. All I could do was stand there. I couldn’t move a muscle. He stood about a foot in front of me. “What the hell is going on?” is all I could mutter out 

“Hi Richie” he grabbed my hands and then ran in for a hug. He is sobbing just like Eddie always would. I started to hug him back after I realized that I wasn’t dreaming. 

“Eddie, How the hell are you here?!” I started to cry tears of joy. Eddie, my Eddie, is right here in front of me.

“I’ve waited so long for you Richie, but you never came” he backed up and said sadly “why did you never come to see me?”

“I'm so sorry Ed’s, I’ve stayed in the house since the day you passed away, I didn’t leave my house until today actually” 

“Why today?”

“Because it’s been a year since you passed away and I thought I should come and see you’re grave” Eddie ran and gave me another hug

“Thank you so much, but you know I don’t need an inhaler anymore, I don’t even need to breathe.” We both laughed for a minute and sat down on the closest bench.

“Hey do you want to come home with me Eddie?”

“Yeah, I’ve been bored just sitting here, nobody has come to visit in awhile. The last person to visit was Stanley about two months ago but he couldn’t see me. Nobody has been able to see me, except for you.”

“Why except for me?”

“I honestly don’t know, but I’m just glad you can”

“You wanna go home now Eddie Spaghetti?” 

“Don’t call me that,” we both laughed “but yeah sure, let’s go.” 

We both got up and started to walk home and I was happier than ever. I still didn’t know what was going on but I didn’t care, I had Eddie right by my side and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. We walked past Eddie’s house and he sighed. “I visited your mom today”

“Has she changed at all?”

“She was upset for a while, but she understands now. She understands that you were our hero” 

We finally got home after walking for a bit and stopping at the drugstore to get snacks. I opened up the front door happier than ever. “Hey mom, I’m home”

“Hi Richie, did you have a good time today?”

“Yeah it was so nice seeing Eddie again, I missed him so much. Well, I mean it was nice seeing his grave and seeing that he is resting well” I didn’t want to make it sound like I was crazy. Mom is already worried about me too much.

“I’m glad you’re happy honey.”

“I’m glad too mom. Well I’ll be upstairs if you need me”

“Okay, dinner will be ready soon”

“Thanks mom.” I ran upstairs with Eddie following behind me. 

“Make yourself at home Eds”

“Hey, don’t call me Eds, you know I hate that”

“Fine fine, I know” He just sat and looked at each other for a minute. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure what is it Richie”

“Did you hear what I said at your grave before you touched me on the shoulder?”

“No, not really. I was so happy to see you that I was thinking to myself a lot, what you even say though?”

“Oh nothing it’s not important” I smiled at him. Ah, he's just so cute, he’s the same Eddie I know and love. We started to talk about old times until we were interrupted by mom knocking at my door.

“Richie, dinner’s ready” she started to walk away but then came back and opened my door. “Richie, who are you talking to up here”

I started to panic. I saw y headset right next to my feet and said “Umm, Just to my internet friends.” I laughed nervously hoping she’d believe me.  
“Okay honey, I heard you say Eddies name though a couple of times, I can tell you had a good day visiting him,”

“I really did” I smiled and as she left, Eddie grabbed onto my hand, interlocked finger with me, and put his head on my shoulder. All I felt was butterflies in my stomach and my face got hot and red.

“You okay Richie, you’re very red.”

“Yeah Im fine” I covered my face with my arm, I was just so happy and I couldn’t believe I was the only person able to see him.

We went down and Eddie sat next to me in the empty seat at the table while I ate dinner. When I finished I went upstairs and took a shower while Eddie waited for me at the end of my bed. I came back in and sat right next to him. “Where do you want to sleep tonight Eddie?”

“Can I sleep right next to you on your bed?”

I started to blush again hard and then looked away and said “yeah, I’ll go get you a blanket.” I ran to the closet, got him a blanket, he laid down on the bed and I tucked him in. I turned off the lights out and got under the covers and said “Night Eds, I’ll see you in the morning.” The one thing I hoped was that this wasn’t just a dream because if it was, I would hate like even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will also be posted on Wattpad tomorrow and chapter three should be out by Saturday!


	3. Chapter Three: Don't Call Me Eds

I woke up at midnight. My eyes opened slightly and then I remembered. Eddie is right next to me. I turned slowly, I was so scared because if he was gone I wouldn’t know what to do. I turned my face until finally, I saw Eddie’s. “Thank god,” I said while looking at Eddie. I then put my hand on his face and kissed him on the cheek. He was sleeping so peacefully. I thought the dead didn’t need sleep. I mean, I’ve never been dead so I don’t know. All I knew was that I was in love with this boy and I was happy he was back. I smiled and went back to sleep 

-  
Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was 6:30 am and my alarm was going off right next to my ear. I forgot I even set it. I sat up and looked at Eddie as he started to wake up. 

“Hey Richie,” he said while smiling at me, “why are you up so early?” 

“I’m going to school today because I finally feel okay to do so. You wanna come to Eds?” 

He smiled and jumped up, he was so excited to go. “Hell yeah I do, now go get dressed so I can see the losers” 

I looked at him and frowned “Um, I haven’t talked to them in a while actually” 

Eddie put his hand on my shoulder “I think it’s time you get outside and get back into talking to people. I want you to be happy Richie.” He came up and hugged me in a tight grip as I started to cry.

He wiped my tears off my face and just looked into my eyes. “You know the second I died I wanted to make sure you were happy and I wanted you to move on and live your life.” 

“I’m so sorry Eds, I didn’t know how to move on, it was so hard losing you, I wanted to die” I was now sobbing, even more, thinking about Eddie when he said his final words to me a year ago.

~September 1989~

This was the scariest moment of my entire life but somehow I had to not be scared of this thing. He knows how to get in my fucking mind and I hate him for it. 

We went down in the well. All seven of us went down ready to kill that clown. I looked at Eddie the entire time, he was shaking so much. I wanted to kiss him so bad and tell him everything will be alright but now was not the time to try that. 

We all rushed in and saw Bev and got her down. When we finally, did Pennywise appeared. We all tried to kill him in some way but he was so powerful and we were all getting hurt. We were scared. 

The only person who got over being scared was Eddie. We had picked up a metal pipe and charged at that damn clown. He then shoved it into his throat and Pennywise screamed in pain. 

I was injured and in pain. Eddie came running up to me and said, “Richie I think I did it, I think I killed it!” He was so thrilled to know that he was the one saving people but that happiness didn’t last very long 

Eddie stopped smiling and started screaming my name. The arm he had broken from falling through the floor, was now in the ground right next to him. I ran to him and carried him to lean him against something. I took off my coat and wrapped it around him.

The other six of us were ready for revenge. We killed Pennywise in honor of Eddie. I ran up to him as soon as I knew it was dead. The jacket I wrapped around him was soaked in blood. I got on my knees and started to sob while I hugged him. 

“Eddie, we have to go, we need to get you out of here so we can help you.

“Richie,” he said so quietly I could almost not hear him.

“What?” I was holding onto his hand with one hand and his face with the other.

“Don’t call me Eds,” he said while he smiled at me and wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks. “You know I… I…” Eddie was thinking about how to finish but couldn’t and died right there.

~Back to Richie and Eddie~

“It’s okay Rich, now let's go and get you ready for school and get ready to talk to the losers.” He searched my closet and found a nice button-up shirt and a pair of shorts. Eddie threw them at me and told me to get ready and looked away while I got dressed.

I got all my school supplies together and was ready to leave much early before school started so I could get my schedule and locker combination because I already missed two weeks of school. I brushed my hair and teeth, put on my glasses, and ran down the stairs. Mom was sitting at the table eating toast. She had dropped her toast and just stared at me.

“Richie, are you going to school!?” 

“Yeah I am mom, I decided that it is finally time to do so”

She got up and hugged me as tight as she could. Eddie watched us from the chair in our living room. “I’m so happy you’re happy Richie, that’s all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

She had finally let go of me and I said: “Thanks mom, I have to go and get my schedule from the office.” She waves goodbye to me and I ran outside while Eddie was following me. He helped me get my bike out of the garage and we both hopped on first. I got on first and I told Eds to just hold onto my waist”

Eddie had a good grip on my body and then I started to peddle away happier than ever. I had Eddie with me and I was gonna see the losers again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note  
Thank you so much for reading this chapter  
I just wanted to say, Yes, I took some lines from the book but I took the quotes and added my own spin to things. It’s just a fanfic so I’m sorry if you thought I was just taking it and calling it mine.  
Now with that said, chapter four should be up by Thursday.  
I hope you guys will enjoy it!


	4. Chapter Four: Stan The Man

I sat there for a second in front of his house. Ah, Stan the man, I really did miss him. Eddie and I jumped off my bike and started to walk to the front of the house. I knocked on the door gently, I was so excited but scared to see the losers again. After about a minute Stan answered the door. He was in his pajamas and held a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Holy Shit," he stared at me for about a second and hugged me. "I haven't seen you in a year, I thought you were dead."

He pulled away from me and just looked at me. I thought that maybe he saw Eddie but then I realized he really couldn't and I was really the only one who could. I felt special, well, and a little crazy. Maybe I was just imaging Eddie. Maybe he was like my imaginary friend. I used to have one as a kid but this is different from my old imaginary friend. Eddie feels so real to me. For now, I'm happy to just have him here, even if he is not real.

"So," stan continued, "Why have you decided to come over to my place?"

"Well, I have finally decided to go back to school and I wanted to walk with you today."

He thought for a second and said: "How about we get the losers all back together and go down to the barrens."

"Stan, are you saying we should skip school?!" I was so shocked to hear Stan say he wanted to skip. He has always been a good person in school. He kept his grades up and never skips school. Well maybe he did last year but I just didn't know about it.

"I've missed you dumbass, we all have." He moved out of the way of the door and gestured his hand to the inside. "Now, go sit on the couch and wait for me while I go get dressed and call the others."

I walked in and Eddie followed right behind me. We sat on the couch together while stan ran upstairs. Eddie then laid his head on my shoulder and I could feel my face get hot. I was really hoping he wouldn't look my way, but he did.

"Richie?" Eddie said looking into my eyes.

"Yeah Eds?" I said in a flustered way, he was just so damn cute and my face was so damn red.

"I'm so happy that you are happy, that's what I wanted. I love it when you're happy." He had said almost what mom had said to me. All they ever wanted was for me to be happy. They loved seeing me smile.

"I'm just happy I can see you, Eddie." He then hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe. He finally let go when Stan came down the stairs all ready to leave.

"Um, Richie, why are you hugging the air?"

"Oh, uhhh, I was just stretching" I hated that he couldn't see Eddie, I'm really curious to see if the others can see him, I really hope they can because I still feel like I'm going crazy.

"Mmm, okay. Welp, let's go, Richie. The losers are already heading to the barrens right now."

We got out Stan's bike and we rode for a bit not saying much to each other. Eddie was on the back of my bike again and he had his cute little arms wrapped around me again. "Richie" he stopped talking for a minute and sighed "I know how hard it was for you to get over Eddie, it was so hard for me too. Bev was also affected really bad, I had to... I had to stop her from killing herself twice, I wonder how many times Bill and Ben have had to stop her. I can't even imagine how hard it was for you, he loved you Richie and you loved him, I could tell."

I started to cry and then looked back at Eddie. He was smiling while his arms were wrapped around my torso and his head was pressed against my back. He then wiped away my tears and squeezed me even more. I looked at Stan and said, "Eddie was really amazing. I did try killing myself a lot, I can admit that I did," I stopped for a minute because I didn't want to make Eddie upset hearing what I was going to say next. "I did try to kill myself, well last time I counted it was thirty-seven times." Eddie popped his head up shocked and really upset. He did not like hearing that number at all. 

"Richie... why, why would you do that?" Eddie's voice was really upset. He was more shocked than anything. I couldn't talk to him because I didn't want Stan to think I was insane. I took Eddie's and held it in mine for a second. I did that so he knew that I was sorry. I also did it to tell him that it would never happen again. I was happy now and I felt safe being around him and the losers again. He felt better after I held his hand and had put his head on my back again.

"You don't have to answer this, but why did you never end up actually... killing yourself?" Stan said In a worried but relieved voice.

"Because, I knew Eddie wanted to wait a little bit before I went to visit him on the other side, he wanted me... he wanted us to be happy, even without him alongside us." I could feel Eddie smile again. I thought it was so cute whenever he smiled, whenever he was happy. Stan was right, I really did love him a lot, but does he really love me too? That was a question that stayed in my head all night, I wouldn't talk to Eddie about it until later that night though, but I won't talk about it until I talk about what happened when I saw the losers again. Let's just say, they thought I was crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry the chapter wasn't up the day I said it would be. I had two tests and I just got home from a weekend vacation.
> 
> I hope you guys liked this chapter though and I'm really excited to finally start writing the things I really want to write about in this story.
> 
> Chapter five will be up sometime next week!
> 
> Also, I usually post chapters a day earlier on my Wattpad so go check there if you ever want to read the story earlier.


	5. Chapter Five: The losers club

Stan and I rode for a couple of minutes until we finally got the barrens. We stopped and dropped our bikes on some rocks and waited until the others showed up. I sat on the rocks and Eddie sat right next to me. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Eddie got a little upset when I pulled out the pack but he didn’t care like he used to. He used to hate the smell of smoke. 

~June 1989~

Eddie and I were on the hammock together in our secret clubhouse that the losers shared, but today, Eddie and I were the only ones down here. We could never agree on switching back and forth. I honestly liked it when Eddie and I were on it together. He would play with glasses and kick them off my face and it was just so cute when he did it. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Eddie then kicked my face again.

“Richie, stop smoking dipshit, it’s gonna kill ya,” Eddie said looking at me with his arms crossed.

"Why do you care if I die Eds?" He looked at me and covered his face. Was he blushing? No, why would he be?

“Don’t call me Eds, you know I hate that”

I started to blush. He was flustered for some reason, and when he was flustered he was just so damn cute. I slowly got on top of him with the cigarette between my fingers. He was blushing, and it wasn’t just a soft blush, he was as red as a tomato. 

“Richie, What the hell are you doing?” 

I then blew the smoke in his face. He freaked out and flipped the hammock over. I fell on the ground first and then Eddie fell on top of me, but it didn’t hurt because Eddie didn’t weigh too much. I just started laughing.

“Haha, you should have seen your face Eds”

“You’re an asshole Richie,” Eddie said in an angry voice but it was also calm. He then laid down on my chest and my whole body freaked out but I controlled myself and started to play with his soft, chocolate-colored hair.

“I know I am, but you still love me, Don’t ya Eddie Spaghetti” 

“Shut up Trashmouth” 

~September 1990~

I started to tear up from that memory but stopped because Eddie hated it when I cried. I sucked it all in and stared at him for a minute and admired his beauty. If Eddie we’re still alive today he would have just turned 14. Even though he was dead his body still matured and he was even cuter now. He was growing a little facial hair and his hair was now curly. 

“Eddie, how come you don’t care if I smoke, you used to always care,” I said in a whispering voice so Stan wouldn’t hear.

“It’s because I’ve missed you Rich and I don’t want to complain. I’ve missed you so much.” He put his head on my shoulder and I became so damn red. He was so cute and I loved him so much. I wanted to kiss him and I was about to until Stan looked in our direction. 

“Why are you so fucking red Richie, are you okay?” 

I was so flustered I just responded back with “yeah I’m fine, I just, ummm, I’m just happy to see the losers again, that’s all.” I was such a horrible liar and Stan knew it and so did Eddie. I looked at Eddie and he was red too, as red as I was. I can’t tell you how much I wanted to kiss him right then and there but just couldn’t. As I stared into Eddie’s eyes we were interrupted by the losers all pulling up to where we were. 

“Richie fucking Toizer, holy shit” Beverley came running towards me and gave me a huge hug. “I’ve missed you so much! Well, not just me but everybody else too. It’s been so lonely without your stupid voices and jokes.”

“Well honey, Richie and back and he’s here to stay.” I said in a dreamy Michael Jackson voice while I stood on the tips of my toes.

Bill them came running down and gave me a hug and then after him it was Ben and then Mike. We all sat there in the rocks and smiled as we talked about how our year had been. We were all really fucked up after what happened last year but we were just happy we were all together again. After singing the old songs we used to sing and telling old stories, we had finally got to the topic of Eddie. 

“You know, Eddie would love but also hate being here with us right now. He was always so scared of getting sick but loved hanging out with us so much”. Beverly said while looking at her hands. I could tell she was about to cry. 

I then accidentally blurted out, “He is here with us right now.”

They all stared at me in total confusion. I then had to finish what I started saying. “Eddie is right next to me right now”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next update should be out tomorrow!


	6. Chapter Six: Do You Believe In Ghosts?

They all stared at me in utter disbelief.

“Richie,” Beverly said slowly while she started to cry, “Eddie’s dead and you need to accept that. I understand it’s hard, it was hard for me to accept too.”

“Bev, I’m literally looking at him right now,” I said while looking and gesturing to my right. “The thing is, I’m the only one who can see him.”

They all thought I was crazy, that I was going insane. I knew I wasn’t but they didn’t know what to do or how to feel. The phrase ‘seeing is believing’ is 100% true. I had to convince them in some way, but how?

“Eddie, give me your hand,” I shouted out to him. I grabbed his hand and held onto it and showed them. “If Eddie weren’t here, then how come I can hold my hand like this so perfectly. I’m holding Eddie’s hand, can’t you guys see that!” I was starting to go insane because they wouldn’t believe me. I was so hurt and so torn. All I could do was sob. Eddie held onto me right and was whispering in my ear telling to me stay calm. Everybody was looking at me like I was a psychopath who needed help becoming stable again.

“Richie, we love you. We’re going to help you get through this trauma” Stan said while looking at me.

“I can’t believe you guys out of all people won’t believe me!” I ran to grab my bike and ride off. Eddie followed behind me yelling, “Richie, wait!”

We had both gotten my bike out of the rocks. I hopped on, Eddie did right after. He wrapped his arms around my torso and we rode off not looking back and not saying a word on the way home. All Eddie did was wipe away my tears as I sobbed.

•

I opened up the door and ran up the stairs while mom yelled to me, “Richie what’s wrong? Was your first day of school really that bad?” She was chasing after me but was too late, I was already up the stairs.

I waited until Eddie was up in my room too, and responded with, “I’ll talk about it later with you mom, love you.”

She sighed as she was halfway up the steps and responded with “okay Rich, I love you too.”

I hated being rude to her. My mom did everything for me. Ever since dad has passed she has done everything for me. I love her so much and I hated putting stress on her like I did for a whole year. I felt so bad, I had put her through so much shit.

I sat down on my bed while still crying. Eddie sat down next to me and grabbed my hand. He interlocked his fingers with mine and put his head on my shoulder.

“Eddie, how do I get them to believe me,” I said while gripping Eddie’s hand tight.

“You can’t Richie, they have to realize I’m there on their own, it's gonna take time.” He paused for a second, sighed and said “Rich, can we talk about what Stan said earlier?”

“What are you talking about Eds?”

“He said that you loved me,” he paused for a second, “ Is that true?”

I looked down at my hands as I started to blush. “Yeah that’s true Eds, and I think I’m finally ready to say it,” I took a deep breathe “I’m gay and I had a huge ass crush on you last year.” I was so scared to hear what Eddie would say. Instead of words, he put both of his hands to my face and turned my head towards his and made me stare into his soft brown eyes. As I was staring into them, he darted is lips at mine. I was so shocked that it took me a minute to process what was happening. When I finally realized what was going on I started to kiss back. His lips were so soft and smooth but he was so cold, probably because he was dead. He still smelled like hand sanitizer and mint. I missed that so much.

I stopped, pulled away, and looked at him. “Eddie,” he put his finger up to my mouth to stop me.

“I love you too Richie,” He started to giggle as he looked at me “Holy shit, I can’t believe you didn’t know I was gay. I always had a huge ass crush on you too, you dumbass.”

I looked at him and I was so happy until this thought hit me. I am going crazy. All I wanted was for Eddie to love me and my mind is telling me that he did. This isn’t real, the losers were right.

“Richie are you okay? Your face just turned completely white.”

I stood up not looking at Eddie. “I need to leave for a while, I’m sorry Eddie” I ran down the stairs not looking back at Eddie, who was yelling at me from the top of the steps. Mom had left to go get food so she wasn’t questioning me leaving the house again. I hopped on my bike and rode off and headed to the kissing bridge.


	7. Chapter Seven: Hold On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
This chapter has multiple suicide attempts and uses the F slur so you have been warned

There I was right in front of the kissing bridge. I parked my bike to the side and went to the one spot where I had carved the R + E when I had first realized I had fallen for Eddie. I brushed my fingers over the letters as I cried.

“Eddie I know that you’re not here with me anymore and I know that going crazy.” I paused and thought of what I was going to say to the sky I was looking at above. “I’m finally going to join you Eds, I’m so sorry but I have to do this.”

I ran to the other side of the bridge and looked down. The water was about fifteen feet deep and I would fall around ten feet before I hit it. I felt like I just had to do it. I wanted to see Eddie again, the real Eddie and not just what I thought was a hallucination.

That hallucination felt so real though, but I was the only one who could see him so I thought I was crazy. I was getting ready to jump but more memories of Eddie came flooding back which made me cry even harder.

~July 1989~

“So Richie, truth or dare?” Stan was the one who asked me this question. I hated this question, I was so scared to pick truth because the thing is I hated lying.

“Dare, all the fucking way,” I said with a smirk on my face trying to still hide my fear of this game. It was finally my turn after Bill had to kiss Bev on the cheek, which everyone freaked out over since we all knew they liked each other, and Eddie who had to lick the bottom of a shoe and freaked out over it because he thinks he’s gonna die from anything. I only ever did dares and they always wondered why. I never forfeited a dare either.

“I dare you to tell us your crush.” Stan and Bev high fived each other after he had managed to ask me a truth question as a dare question.

“No way man, that’s a truth question, give me another one.”

“Come on Rich, we really just want to know,” Bev said with a pout on her face and her arms crossed.

“I forfeit, fuck you guys, I’m out of here.” I got up and ran out of stan's room, got my biked, and peddled as fast as I could home.

When I got to my room I slammed the door shut and started to think of Eddie. God, I had been falling for him hard and I had finally admitted to myself that I was gay about a week ago when Eddie and I got to hang out just the two of us. I had snuck over to his house at around 11 pm on a Friday night and knocked on his window.

“Richie, what the hell!” Eddie quietly yelled so Sonia couldn’t hear.

“Just felt like chilling Eds, I was bored at home so I came here” I sat in his window, halfway in his room and halfway out the window while I lit a cigarette.

“Richie, my mom is going to smell your smoke and murder me for you being over here.”

“Na, Mrs. K loves me Eds, we’ll be fine” I threw the cigarette out the window and jumped onto Eddie’s bed.

“You just gonna spend the night?”

“You know it Eds, now come on, let’s go to sleep.” We hopped in bed next to me and just shared a blanket with me. We cuddled all that night and it made me feel a whole variety of things. I just knew for sure I wasn’t straight after that night. I sat on my bed and looked at the wall thinking about what would happen if I would’ve admitted my feelings for Eddie tonight. Hot and heavy tears filled my eyes.

“Why the hell would they try and do that to me, they know I can’t tell lies” I pulled out a pocket knife from my side drawer and stared at it.

“You need to die fucking faggot.” Henry would always say as he beat me up. He knew I was gay before I even did. I repeated what Henry had said in my head, You need to die you fucking faggot. I started slitting my wrists and blood was flowing down my arm. I didn’t get too far because someone had run up my stairs and record speed and slammed open my door. It was Eddie. He stared at me and saw the blood and ran and ripped the knife out of my hand. It cut him a bit also because while he was grabbing it, his hand had touched the blade.

“I knew you would do this to yourself, that’s why I came here as fast as I could”. Tears flooded his eyes and he didn’t even care about the pain coming from his hand. He had only cared about me. “Now let me patch you up and make sure you never do this again”

He pulled out his first aid kit and ran to my bathroom for a cloth and some water. He whipped all the blood off of my arm and put some healing cream on it before he wrapped it up.

“Now promise me you’ll never do this again, I need to know that you’ll be there for me when I need you. We all need you dumbass.”

“I promise Eds”. He buried his head in my chest and wrapped his arms around me.

“Don’t call me Eds, you know I hate that,” he said with his face still buried in my chest.

I laughed, “No promises Eds”

~September 1990~

“Eddie, I’m finally joining you. I climbed onto the bridge and stood on the edge and looked down one more time. I closed my eyes while a million thoughts running through my head. I let my body go forward and started to fall into the river.

The end. I thought that was going to be the end but then something incredible happened. I heard people screaming. When I fell forward and they were such familiar screams. The entire losers club was there when I jumped. Right after I jumped not even a second later I felt somebody grab onto my leg.

“RICHIE, THROW YOUR ARM UP TO ME!” Eddie’s weak little arms grabbed my leg so tight.

“What the hell, how is this happening, I thought you were-”

“STOP IT RICHIE AND GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING HAND GODDAMIT!”

I obeyed his orders still so confused. I threw my body up and Eddie caught my arm and I flipped my body over. He was now gripping onto my arm and I gave the other. He pulled me up and held me in his arms until I was ready to stand. The losers were all there, each and every one of them. All of their faces were filled with shock.

Stan looked at me, “Eddie really is here with us”


	8. Chapter Eight: Seeing Is Believing

They all stood there as their faces turned white. They didn’t know what was going on and neither did I. I wasn’t hallucinating or maybe I was just dead or this was just a dream, but I honestly couldn’t tell. We all stood there for a moment and then out of nowhere Eddie slapped me across the face. I felt the pain rush to my face but I didn’t care. 

“Richie I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to-,” Eddie said while putting one hand over his mouth. He was angry at what I had done. 

“Eddie it’s okay, I’m so sorry that I tried to do that, I’m so stupid.” I paused as I stared at everybody. “It’s time we all talk and figure out what’s going on. Come on now, back to my place.” They all just nodded their heads and followed me home. We made our way away from the bridge as a million thoughts rolled through the losers’ minds. We said nothing the entire way home, we didn’t know what to say. 

I knocked on the front door gently hoping mom was home because I had locked the house before I had left. She opened the door and almost cried when she saw all of us together. 

“Hi mom, thanks for letting us inside, it’s getting cold out there. We’re all gonna be upstairs if ya need us, love you.” she waved at us as we headed up the stairs as fast as we could. I was the last in my room because I was being the gentleman I was and held the door open for everybody. I slammed it shut and sat in the circle that was forming.

Stan looked up, not at me, but Eddie. He stared straight into his eyes as his eyes started to fill with tears. “I can finally see you” He jumped up and hugged Eddie as tight as he could. 

“I can see him too” Bev exclaimed, “How can we now see him?”

“It’s because you guys have finally been convinced that I’m here after I saved Richie” Eddie said as he was let out of Stan’s embrace. “Now raise your hand if you can see me.”

Everybody raised their hands and I sighed in relief. I finally knew I wasn’t crazy.

“Hey now that we are all back together who wants to party like we used to?” Bill said as a big grin hit his face.

“Oh hell yeah!” I said as I jumped up. Mike pulled out the radio as I ran to the kitchen with Bev and Ben to get all the snacks we needed. We pulled out at least four bottles of the canned cheese that squirts into your mouth. We used to always eat that shit together back when we would go to the clubhouse and all of us were alive.

We ran back up the stairs right past mom, who was smiling at us. Mike had gotten the radio started and it was playing our favorite song at the time which was Love Shack by B-52’s. We all loved dancing together to this song last year.

I ran into my room as soon as I heard the song start and threw the canned cheese at everybody as I started to sing the beginning. “Eddie Spaghetti, dance with me!” I grabbed Eddie by the hand, spun him around, and pulled him close to my chest. He stared at me straight in the eyes as his cheeks turned pink. He was so damn cute even though he was dead. I couldn’t believe that he actually liked me back. 

We all danced until we almost collapsed. We all passed around the last bottle of cheese and took turns squirting it in our mouths. I wrapped my arms around Eddie and leaned into his chest.

“Well, I think it’s about time all of you go home. I can tell Richie is tired and needs sleep so he’ll actually wake up in the morning tomorrow.” Eddie said as he played with my hair.

Ben got up and took Bev by the hand and offered to take her home but she said no because her dad would kill her even more than he already was going to because she was coming home late. It was around ten at night when everybody had said their goodbyes and left. It was just Eddie and me in my room now and we had both gotten on my bed and started to cuddle. I played with his hair for a while until I said something that would change everything.

“Hey, Eds,” Eddie’s head popped up as I continued. “I’ve been thinking and I’m going to go back to the house on Neibolt street to go look for your body.”

“Richie you’re crazy! You could die if you went back there!”

“Eddie I have to at least try to bring you back to life. I will never live life happy again if I don’t at least try!” I paused and pulled his lips to mine and kissed him. “I love you Eddie and I just need to have a future with you in it. I need you more than anything.”

“You are crazy but if you want to try something crazy go for it because I want a future with you too Rich, I always have.”

“Let’s make a deal. If I resurrect you, you have to promise me we will get married and move out of Derry in the next eight years.” He looked at me in surprise for a minute and then kissed me. 

“Deal Rich, but only because I love you so damn much” He placed his head on my chest and fell asleep as I thought about what was going to go down tomorrow. All I knew was that we would have to fight something big, something almost as scary as Pennywise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated recently. I was having writer's block and I have been busy as heck. 
> 
> I have finally figured out how everything is going to tie together in the story so I am very happy about that. 
> 
> I'll be hopefully updating soon so stay tuned.


	9. Chapter Nine: Research

I woke up with too many thoughts running through my mind. How do you resurrect the dead? That was the main thought running through my mind. I really needed to do research before I even attempted to. Eddie was still asleep at the time I left the house on my bike as I headed for the library. I left him a note and one of his favorite drinks, a glass of orange juice. The note said,

Dear Eduardo,

I have left to do some research on how to resurrect the dead because I have no idea how to. Just stay inside and rest today, you need your strength for what is to come later. Please take care of yourself. I need you in my life again, I just want to be happy with you Eddie my love.

Love, Richie 

Before I went to the library I stopped at Ben’s house. He knew that library better than anybody I knew. I threw my bike in Ben’s lawn and made my way up to his door but before I could knock he walked out as he was saying goodbye to his mom.

“Hey Richie, what are you doing here so early in the morning?”

“I need your help, Ben. Can you please help me out this morning?” I looked at him and he could see the fear in my eyes. The fear of what was to come.

“Richie are you okay?”

“I’ll tell you all about it on the way to the library.”

“Why do we need to go to the library?”

“I’ll tell you on the way there, will you come with me?”

“Well, I was going to get milk for my mom and I but I guess that can wait. Yeah, I’ll go with you.”

I jumped up and hugged him as tight as I could. “Oh, Ben, you’re the best!” We grabbed my bike and walked the rest of the way to the library.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on?” He said with a worried look. Ben could read my emotions almost as well as Bev could.

“I’m resurrecting Eddie!” I blurted out. He looked at me and just stared.

“Richie, that’s way too dangerous, you could die too!”

“I have to try Ben or I might never be happy again. I love Eddie so damn much.” I swallowed hard and took a deep breath. I was so scared to say these words to anybody. “Ben, can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything, Richie”

“I’m gay” 

I looked away from him because I was so scared he was going to hate me but instead he turned me towards him and hugged me. I dropped my bike to hug back. It had felt so nice for somebody to accept me. Growing up in the 80s and 90s was such a hard thing for a homosexual teen like myself. I had gone through so much harassment for all the years I lived in Derry. I always did have the losers by my side whenever I got harassed. But I'm getting ahead of myself though, that stuff is for me to tell later. 

“Richie, me and the losers love you for who you are. Being gay doesn’t define you.”

“Thanks, Ben,” I said while whipping away some tears “You don’t know how thankful I am to have you guys.”

“Richie, you have to promise me one thing though.”

“And what is that?”

“Promise me you will not go to the house without us.”

“Okay fine, I promise, but how are we going to convince Stan?

“I don’t know but we’ll figure it out. Well, Bev will figure it out.” We both chuckled a bit at all the memories convincing us to do stupid things. 

“So explain to me why you need my help at the library.”

“It’s because I don’t know how a library works because I’ve never been in one and secondly, I didn’t want to be alone while researching stuff on how to resurrect the dead.”

“Okay, I get that. Well, I’m glad you chose me for the job.” 

“I trust you, Ben. You are a really good friend and that’s why I came out to you first.”

We continued to talk for a bit more until we made it to the library. We walked in and Ben knew exactly where to go. He knew that library like the back of his hand. He pulled out a few books and one of them was a book I haven’t seen in a while. It was a copy of the bible.

“Why the hell did you get the bible” I whisper so we wouldn’t be kicked out. 

“I got it because Jesus was resurrected. You know that’s why we have Easter Sunday, right?”

“I’m not one for religion and neither is my mom. She is the middle of being a Jew and a Christian.”

We read for a while and took notes. We didn’t find the best information so Ben took the books home so he could analyze the information a bit more. I walked him back to his house and thanked him again for everything he’s done for me. He also said he would help convince the others to join us when we went to go and try to resurrect Eddie. 

After dropping Ben off at his house I started to head home. I had the worst dream the night before and it was still in my head. It was about the monster we were going to face down there. The daughter of It. We all thought that thing couldn’t reproduce but It did and we were so scared when we found out It did. At the time though none of us knew this thought. I had only dreamt of her.

I finally made it home and headed up to my room to check on Eddie. It was now eleven in the morning and I had left the house at around six. I walked into my room and there was Eddie, all wrapped up and still in bed just like I told him to be. He had drunk the orange juice I got him and had a huge smile on his face when on opened the door.

“Hey Eds,” I said as I went up to min and kissed him on the lips and hopped on my bed to sit right next to him.

“How did researching go?”

“Good but Ben is still looking more into it. He took all the books ho to take more notes and then we’re gonna go convince the rest of the losers to come with us to the house on Neitbolt.”

“This is gonna be dangerous Rich. I hope you feel like you’re making the right choice.”

“I know I am Eds. Now let me relax with you before we have to have a crazy night. I’m scared and I need to relax too.”

I got under the sheets and cuddled with Eddie. He comforted me for a while until I got a very speical knock on my door that afternoon.


	10. Chapter Ten: The Plan

“Richie open up!” It was Bev pounding at my door. “We need to talk.” 

I got up to unlock the door and when I did she came bursting through the door with Ben and Bill alongside her. He held all the books in his arms and dropped them on my bed right next to Eddie as he scrambled to find one.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“You kn-know why we’re here you dumb-dumbass. We have to plan while-ile Stan and Mike are on-on their way. Well, that’s if Mike can man-manage to get Stan over here.” 

“Wait, you guys actually want to do this?”

“Yeah we do Richie, we want to help you out even if that means risking our lives again,” Bev said in the sweet way she always did. “We know how much you love Eddie.”

“Yeah, I really do”. I could feel my face start to heat up as I remembered what Eddie and I had promised each other last night.

“Found it!” Ben exclaimed after finding the one book he had been scrambling to find.

“Found what Ben?” I said as I stared at the cover. I was a book not written by a certain author, but pieces of books from the library all put together in something that looked like a notebook. The cover was titled Pennywise and the secrets behind Derry Maine written in Ben’s handwriting. He opened to one page of it and began to tell us what he had found.

“Pennywise is a genderless shapeshifter, and ancient monster, right?” We nodded our heads “It can be a female or male if it wanted to be so that means it could have children. What I’m trying to say is we should prepare for the worst.”

“Why do you think that there is another monster down there Ben?” Eddie asked in confusion.

“I had a dream last night about the daughter of It. We all thought that thing couldn’t reproduce but It did and we were so scared when we found out It did.” Bill, Bev, and I all started at Ben with fear in our eyes.

“I had a dream also Ben”. I said as my body started to shake in fear.

“I did-d also”

“Me too”

“How come I didn’t have that dream?” Eddie asked a little bit upset.

“It’s because you weren’t there when we took the blood oath. We can feel each other’s emotions and see things we don’t want to”. I showed Eddie my scar from where my hand was cut from the piece of glass. “We made an oath to each other that if anything bad happened again, we would be there to fix it.”

“Okay, so we all know we all had the same dream, but how are we going to resurrect Eddie?” Bev had asked the question that had been on my mind also.

“I honestly don’t know. We are just gonna have to find out while we are down there.” Ben said as he got all of his books back together in a pile.

Moments later Stan and Mike bursted through the bedroom door. “I managed to get him here, it took a shit ton of work but I did it.”

“Thank you so much, Mike,” I said as I gave him a high-five. 

“Guys I can’t go back there, I’m gonna die. I know we all had the same dream last night. Mike told me he had it too so that means all of us had it.”

“I didn’t have it”. Eddie said trying to calm down Stan.

“You don’t count Eddie” 

“I know but I was just trying to make you feel a little bit better.” He sounded disappointed to I went behind where he was sitting in the bed and wrapped my arms and legs around him to make him feel better 

“It’s okay Eds, you’re just trying to be helpful and Stan is being a weenie,” I said while I started to kiss down his neck.

“Ew, Richie and Eddie, go get a room,” Bev said while covering her eyes. She looked at Stan and went up to him. She hugged him in her tight embrace. “We won’t leave you alone Stan, we promise. We made an oath to each other.

Stan looked at her and took a deep breath, “fine I trust you guys but if you guys ever leave me alone, I will never be a loser again.”

“Deal,” We all said in agreement

“Okay then, what’s the plan?” I asked in curiosity. Ben has made the plan so he pulled a list out of his pocket and started to read from it.

“We head to the house tonight, so that means in about three hours since it’s already three. We go down the well and then from there we figure it out.”

“I brought all the weapons we need”. Mike pulled out everything we needed, from knives to guns.

For a while, we just chilled. Eddie and I went back to cuddling while Bev kept calling us cute and telling us about how she has known for the longest time we liked each other. I keep asking her which guy she chose, Ben or Bill, but it was surprisingly neither yet. She was in a love triangle and didn’t know how to get out.

The three hours we had waited seemed like years. We were scared but so ready to bring Eddie back to life. We saw the clock hit six and grabbed everything we needed and hopped on our bikes. 

I was honestly happier than ever but too many negative thoughts ran through my head. What if it doesn’t work? What if we fail and lose Eddie’s soul too. I also had positive thoughts though. If we bring Eddie back then that means we can finally start dating and we can have date nights and go out to dinners and then get married and move out of this hell hole. 

I loved Eddie more than anybody in this world. I wanted him back to bad. I follow the others as they biked as fast as they could. We were scared and not ready for another battle. Before we knew it we were finally there and we were staring at it. The house on Neibolt street.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this short chapter. My next chapter chould be up in a couple of days and when chapter two is finished I'll also post the story on Wattpad, Thanks for much for your support!


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